I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
She told me she brought a guy home but that he looked pickled. And no, that's not an autocorrect.
Hahahah pickled
I asked her what she meant and she said that he looked like he had soaked in water.
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
in your professional opinion, what's the most elegant way of saying "sorry I spent all night flirting with you, I thought you were gay" ?
Randomize
