but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
just got back. in my inebriated state i broke an ugly lamp and was sent to the store (still drunk) to get a new one. just spent last half hour in isle 3 of dollar general surounded by more ugly lamps and trying not to throw up on each and every single one.
Randomize
