so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
where does the pee come out of this thing
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What I thought was my travel sanitizer was actually my travel lube. Most awkward transit ride of all time!
I just cut open the plastic package of a Plan B pill using the bottle opener I carry in my purse. #whyidrink
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
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