i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
Randomize
