I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
Do you have feelings for this penis?
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
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