Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
you're hired as official boob wrangler
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
Randomize
