I wish i was in the wii world.
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
Can you repeat that, but with context?
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
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