We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
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