So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
I baked a frozen pizza completely, put it back in the plastic and box, and put it back in the freezer. THAT drunk.
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
Randomize
