If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
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