he's my edward cullen
I am pretty sure Edward Cullen never had an all-day drinking binge topped off with some blow.
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize
