Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
Randomize
