I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
Randomize
