yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
where am i from again
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
Responsible roommate: 1. Someone who takes a huge shit at work so as not to clog the toilet at home.
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
Randomize
