I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
His constant posting of "inspirational" Taylor Swift quotes over the past 3 days has me a little worried. It's like, holy shit dude, you're almost 30.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
The police report said i was screaming at someone that wasnt there, then the cops told me to call someone sober and i called mike to tell him "They are trying to arrest me for stealing information from the FBI" at that point they took me to jail.
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
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