You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
My mom said she was relieved to see that I'd gained some weight bc she's "always worried" that I might have AIDS.
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
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I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
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So hungover. I dropped my keys and leaning over seemed a terrible idea. Instead I took my shoe off in the middle of the street and use my toes to pick them up. Think I'm a genius.
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
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