Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
I met a guy last night who bought me a book on Amazon at the bar and then we had sex. Boners for books is a thing. Boom.
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
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