lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
Got a blowie from her in the cab on the way home. Made awkward eye contact with the cabbie who said, and I quote "Keep the mess in her mouth bro", I did so only out of respect
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
Swiping left on your brother's Tinder account is possibly the worst way to learn he broke up with his girlfriend.
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
Randomize