so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
you threw up in the oven last night. i found that out after i preheated it to cook a pizza.
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
Randomize
