is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
Randomize
