apparently the officer said last night, "son, why don't you do yourself a favor and spread your legs so you don't keep vomiting on them". why can't I remember those nights?!
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
Randomize
