i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
Eating Doritos is not nearly as enjoyable when I'm not drunkenly feeding them to peacocks.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
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