This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
Randomize
