I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
Got paid 100 bucks to babysit a kid for five hours while hungover. I slept the whole time and threw up twice. Yes 100 bucks.
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
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