I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
I'd cum for enchiladas.
don't judge my taste in strippers
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
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