anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
Randomize
