i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
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