hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
I could literally track my booty calls if I ever got knocked up by my parking tickets
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
Well if homeless lesbian experimenting divorcée is your new M.O., you're gonna need to start drinking more anyway so if that's what it takes to talk about it tomorrow afternoon, bottoms up bitch
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
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