I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
you know you've been in a long relationship when u start retiring sex toys
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
Randomize