I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
Randomize
