Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
Yeah, I'm pretty glad I chose you to have drunken, sloppy birthday sex with.
That's the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me
Randomize