respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
Your shoe was in the washing machine. I have it in my pocket. My phone rang before and I answered your shoe. Meet me at the bar in 10.
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
Randomize
