T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
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