Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
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