Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
Randomize
