No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
He ended our Skype call with, "I'm going to poop and then go play my ukulele in the park."
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
Do you have feelings for this penis?
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
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