He asked to "fluff my boner.."
apparently the secret to your success is patron
normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
Randomize
