I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Randomize
