sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
Randomize
