I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
Are we still banned from the library?
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
Randomize
