we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
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