DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
I was just trying to flirt with James Franco but she kept telling me to take shots out of Ron Burgundy's mouth
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
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