There's a walmart bag of my vomit outside my front door. I just really need someone to appreciate that with me.
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
I feel like death gave me a hand job
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
Randomize
