well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
Randomize
