this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
She woke me up with an urgent call telling me she was rolling on Mollie and swimming in the ocean. I mean that's just great. If she drowns, I'll feel responsible.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
I still have that dildo-suction bruise on my forehead and this sweater STILL smells like my Christmas Eve vomit.
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
Randomize