I just accidently deleted 60 gigs of porn from my external hard drive. Thats over 300 pornos! I think im gonna cry.
Im surprised that you are even able to text me right now.
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
My mom said she was relieved to see that I'd gained some weight bc she's "always worried" that I might have AIDS.
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
Randomize
