i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
The sign in front of ihop says "designated drivers get half off their order"
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
Randomize
