Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
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