She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
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