You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
Apparently I blacked out and started wrestling with some dude last night. Just found out I might have dislocated his shoulder. Best part: he still wants to bone me
me + whiskey = a bad person
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
I think I just sharted jello shots
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