they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
So here's a tip: don't give a blowjob the same morning you're going to the dentist. Cuz they will think you have "mouth trauma."
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
Randomize
