what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
Our 450 pound cab driver smells like McDonalds and sunblock with a touch of vodka. Correction I smell like vodka.
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
My new years resolution is going to be to stop drunk snapchatting old hook ups asking them when we're going to bang again
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
Randomize
