I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
i need a shirt that says "I fuck trainwrecks"
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
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