You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
Tonight is an "I'm lonely and single so I'm going to curl up in a warm, melatonin and vodka enriched ball in the corner of my bed with a cat." kind of night.
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