i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
Do you remember when I jumped into your arms and you farted?
I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
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