I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
Dude I got in an Uber this morning and he goes “I drove you last night”\n“You got your dick sucked in the back seat”
Randomize
