Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
Oh! I forgot to tell you. Part of that weird ass dream last night. I was jamie lee curtis and I cut off all my hair because yogurt.
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
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