I think my fart just growled at me.
Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
Guess who's still drunk but on time to court to represent a DUI?
You are my hero
This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home...
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
No dude I got way too drunk to function. 90% sure I tried to FaceTime 911.
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
Randomize
