i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
My life is a joke. Told everyone last night that they could call me Mrs. McCormick because I'm gonna end up alone with a handle of peach vodka anyways.
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
My tinder date wouldn't stop talking about the Star Wars movie trailer long enough to fuck me. HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
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