you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
And you know what the worst part is? Because of him I can now relate to a goddamn Taylor Swift song. FUCK. MY. LIFE.
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
Randomize
